Still no sleep. I don't know what time it is. I don't know where we are. We've stopped at a bus station, I think it is. After awhile, all the rest areas and bus stations and all the other places we stop at seem to melt together, and I can't tell one from another. All I know is that this place has bright fluorescent lights hanging overhead that burn your eyes when your vision drifts toward them. The floors are dirty, gray tile, and the same old plastic chairs I've seen at every other stop are bolted against the walls. The stop would be for half an hour, they said. Something about having to swap buses at the last second.
The new bus was ready almost immediately and waiting for us, and we were given the option either to wait there or inside the station. There are a few people on the bus now--mostly the people who are actually able to sleep. The rest of us opted to come inside for awhile, if for no other reason than to enjoy a brief change of scenery. So it was either wait in the dark or wait beneath harsh light. I can't take much more of the dark. I was able to get a great view of the sky. In fact that's the only thing that's kept me sane for the past few hours. I leaned my head against the cold window and just looked up at the stars. They look the same here as they did back home. I don't know if I was expecting something different. When I grew tired of that, tired of seeing, I closed my eyes for a little while. Of course, I couldn't fall asleep, but I still think it gave me a chance to rest, if only for a few minutes.
I have my whole backpack with me now. I'm really not sure why when I could have just as easily thrown it on the new bus and brought my notebook in here to write. I don't really need my books at the moment. I'm not in the right mood or the right mind to read. I could, I suppose, but it isn't like I'd be able to retain anything.
At least I can still write. It takes me a little longer. I have to make sure all the words are actually coherent before I write them down. I double-check the spelling in my head and then again as I write. I find it's harder and harder to trust myself.
I can't remember how long it's been since I slept. I know I had that dream, and that was back in Tennessee, I think. It's all a little fuzzy. I know it's been longer than 24 hours--much longer. A day and a half, maybe? Even then, it was just a short nap It's sometime after midnight now. The clock on the wall doesn't seem to be moving, so at this point it's all guesswork, which is a dangerous thing in my current state.
All I know is that I need to find a place to lie down for awhile. Time to get back on the bus, I think. At least I can stretch out on the seat and rest my head against my bag. I think my hoodie is still in it. That should make a decent pillow.
Only a few hours until the next stop.
Roswell.
I'm actually looking forward to it, even if I don't get the chance to see the whole town. Or any of it. Shit. It's still going to be dark. I'd never considered that possibility.
Whatever. Time to go.
The new bus was ready almost immediately and waiting for us, and we were given the option either to wait there or inside the station. There are a few people on the bus now--mostly the people who are actually able to sleep. The rest of us opted to come inside for awhile, if for no other reason than to enjoy a brief change of scenery. So it was either wait in the dark or wait beneath harsh light. I can't take much more of the dark. I was able to get a great view of the sky. In fact that's the only thing that's kept me sane for the past few hours. I leaned my head against the cold window and just looked up at the stars. They look the same here as they did back home. I don't know if I was expecting something different. When I grew tired of that, tired of seeing, I closed my eyes for a little while. Of course, I couldn't fall asleep, but I still think it gave me a chance to rest, if only for a few minutes.
I have my whole backpack with me now. I'm really not sure why when I could have just as easily thrown it on the new bus and brought my notebook in here to write. I don't really need my books at the moment. I'm not in the right mood or the right mind to read. I could, I suppose, but it isn't like I'd be able to retain anything.
At least I can still write. It takes me a little longer. I have to make sure all the words are actually coherent before I write them down. I double-check the spelling in my head and then again as I write. I find it's harder and harder to trust myself.
I can't remember how long it's been since I slept. I know I had that dream, and that was back in Tennessee, I think. It's all a little fuzzy. I know it's been longer than 24 hours--much longer. A day and a half, maybe? Even then, it was just a short nap It's sometime after midnight now. The clock on the wall doesn't seem to be moving, so at this point it's all guesswork, which is a dangerous thing in my current state.
All I know is that I need to find a place to lie down for awhile. Time to get back on the bus, I think. At least I can stretch out on the seat and rest my head against my bag. I think my hoodie is still in it. That should make a decent pillow.
Only a few hours until the next stop.
Roswell.
I'm actually looking forward to it, even if I don't get the chance to see the whole town. Or any of it. Shit. It's still going to be dark. I'd never considered that possibility.
Whatever. Time to go.
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